Trading Someday for Today: How to Cultivate Lasting Happiness

Happiness. It’s the thing we all want, the thing we chase, and yet, for many of us, it feels just out of reach. We tell ourselves, “When I get the promotion, then I’ll be happy,” or “When I finally lose the weight, then life will feel good.” But here’s the problem: these grand notions of happiness—the “when-then” promises—rarely deliver.

What if we stopped waiting for happiness to arrive? What if, instead, we started creating it as we go? This shift—from chasing happiness to building happiness—changes everything. It trades scale for workability and transforms happiness from an elusive goal into something we can cultivate in small, meaningful ways every single day.

And here’s something even more profound: when we make this shift, we’re not just trading “someday” for “today.” We’re shifting our mindset entirely—from “doing and achieving” to “being and becoming.” Happiness stops being about what we accomplish and starts being about who we are becoming in the process.

In this post, we’ll explore what happiness really is (hint: it’s more complex than you think), why it’s not a destination, and how you can use this insight to live a richer, more fulfilling life right now.

What Is Happiness, Really?

Let’s start with a simple truth: happiness isn’t one thing. It’s not a single feeling, accomplishment, or achievement. Instead, happiness—what psychologists call “subjective well-being”—is more like the weather. It’s made up of many elements working together: emotions, thoughts, relationships, values, strengths, and even the goals you set.

Just like you can’t point to “the weather” and say, “That’s it!” you can’t pin happiness down as one measurable thing. It’s a dynamic, ever-changing process, influenced by how you relate to life’s ups and downs.

And here’s the tricky part: happiness isn’t about avoiding challenges or feeling good all the time. It’s about finding balance, cultivating resilience, and staying grounded in what matters most to you.

The Two Faces of Happiness: Hedonic and Eudaimonic

To understand happiness, it’s helpful to look at its two main forms: hedonic happiness and eudaimonic happiness.

• Hedonic happiness is about pleasure and enjoyment. It’s the feel-good stuff—like laughing with friends, savoring a delicious meal, or relaxing after a long day.

• Eudaimonic happiness is deeper. It comes from living a life of meaning and purpose, aligning with your values, and growing as a person.

These two forms of happiness aren’t opposites. They influence and support each other. For example, feeling good (hedonic happiness) can make you more creative, curious, and open, helping you tap into your strengths and pursue meaningful goals. Likewise, living a purposeful life (eudaimonic happiness) creates a foundation for joy, even during challenging times.

The key is balance. A life full of pleasure but no purpose can feel shallow, while a life of only striving can feel exhausting. True happiness comes from weaving these two elements together.

Why Happiness Is a Process, Not a Destination

One of the biggest myths about happiness is that it’s a finish line—a place you arrive at when everything finally falls into place. “When I find the perfect partner, then I’ll be happy.” But this mindset keeps happiness tied to the future, always just out of reach.

The truth? Happiness isn’t a destination; it’s a process. It’s not about achieving perfection but about how you engage with life every single day. It’s about practicing gratitude, nurturing relationships, and aligning your actions with your values—not because these things guarantee happiness, but because they create meaning and joy in the present moment.

And here’s the magic of this mindset shift: when we stop seeing happiness as something to achieve and start seeing it as something we become, we allow ourselves to grow. The focus shifts from doing—checking off tasks and chasing goals—to being—living fully and authentically in the moment. We stop measuring our happiness by what we’ve accomplished and start experiencing it through who we are becoming.

Trading Scale for Workability

Here’s where the real transformation happens: we stop chasing these large-scale ideas of happiness and focus on what works. Instead of waiting for some perfect moment, we learn how to cultivate happiness as we go.

This mindset shift—trading scale for workability—is powerful because it puts happiness in your hands. You don’t have to wait for some distant goal or external event. You can start creating happiness today, brick by brick, in the small, meaningful choices you make.

And as we embrace workability, we’re also embracing being and becoming. Workability isn’t about perfection; it’s about movement, growth, and evolution. It’s about learning to find joy in the process of becoming your best self, moment by moment.

Why We Get Happiness Wrong

So why is it so hard to think about happiness this way? Part of the problem is cultural. We’ve been sold a version of happiness that’s all about pleasure, success, and material wealth. Consumer culture tells us happiness can be bought if we just try hard enough—and it keeps us running on the “hedonic treadmill,” constantly chasing more.

At the same time, we’re often taught to avoid discomfort and negative emotions, as if they’re the opposite of happiness. But the reality is, true well-being isn’t about feeling good all the time. It’s about learning to navigate all of life’s emotions with curiosity and grace.

A Framework for Lasting Happiness

With so many moving parts, happiness can feel overwhelming. That’s why it helps to have a framework—a simple, practical guide to keep everything in balance.

Positive psychology and coaching offer exactly that. Positive psychology gives us evidence-based tools to build resilience, gratitude, and meaning. Coaching helps us put those tools into action, providing personalized support to align our lives with our values and goals. Together, they offer a clear path to creating happiness that works—not someday, but now.

Your Call to Action

The good life isn’t about waiting for happiness to arrive. It’s about creating it, moment by moment, in the choices you make today.

So ask yourself: What small step can you take right now to build happiness as you go? Maybe it’s reaching out to someone you care about, reflecting on what matters most to you, or simply taking a moment to appreciate the good in your life.

And as you take that step, remember this: happiness isn’t about doing more or achieving more. It’s about becoming more. It’s about who you are in the process, how you show up in your life, and how you grow along the way.

Happiness isn’t a grand, elusive goal. It’s a practice—a process of showing up, staying curious, and learning as you go. It’s not something you find—it’s something you build. And it starts today.

Let’s stop waiting for happiness and start creating it. One moment, one choice, one step toward becoming the person we’re meant to be.